After giving a lecture on how the letters of the movie rating system equate to different parts of the human body, Professor Irwin Corey introduces a film called Norman and the Polish Doll. Failing to find a real woman, Norman Horner goes to a doll store, asking for a “realistic doll.” The salesman takes him into the backroom to show him “Wanda,” a life-sized, anatomically correct doll wearing a Polish peasant costume. Wanda is capable of responding to her own name, says over one hundred sentences and is activated by pulling on her earlobe. Although Norma is unable to afford the retail price, the salesman offers a discount on the floor model. After struggling to get Wanda into a taxi, Norman returns home and, while removing Wanda’s blouse, accidently activates her kissing program. Before Norman can investigate further, his mother arrives. Norman introduces Wanda as a Polish Air force martial artist who has suffered a seizure, causing her to move robotically. Norman then pushes his mother out the door to go buy a hot water bottle, and attempts to copulate with Wanda, but is unable to pry the doll’s legs apart. As Norman struggles, Wanda keeps repeating she wants a “bathie.” Once in the tub, Wanda answers Norman's complaints about only wanting sex by demanding a relationship. Norman’s mother returns with a pharmacist and Norman confesses Wanda is a sex doll. Afraid Wanda will mildew; Norman gets his mother and the pharmacist to help him rub Wanda with Vaseline, until Wanda demands cunnilingus and Norman’s mother storms out. When the pharmacist suggests a threesome, Norman orders him to leave. The next day, Norman returns Wanda to the store, and after discovering there are no refunds, tells the salesman to keep her. After Norman leaves, the salesman crows that nine guys have paid $12 hundred bucks for Wanda; which is not bad. Wanda, who really is a human, relaxes and agrees with him. When the film ends, the professor lectures on the sexual peccadillos of the average American male before introducing another film named Vortex. A “blurb” writer, Jerry Lorsey, is in a rut; using the word vortex to describe everything. One day he is visited by his muse, Roberto, a hairy middle-aged Italian dressed in a revealing swimsuit. Roberto proclaims that Jerry’s problem is that he seduces women too easily, and needs a challenge. Roberto snaps his bikini bottom three times and the men are transported to Jerry’s parent’s house with his virginal high school sweetheart, Mary Ellen Palmer. Jerry’s attempts to seduce Mary Ellen are met with her threats to “sock him.” Frustrated, Jerry complains to Roberto, who reminds him that Mary Ellen never did hit him. Jerry goes back to Mary Ellen, calls her bluff , whereupon, she sexually attacks him. When the tryst is over, Mary Ellen declares she is pregnant and Roberto whisks Jerry away. The next stop is an apartment that looks like it is a French bordello. Jerry recognizes it as the home of “Kinky Claudia,” who would only have sex with a man if he could undress her in less than a minute. Roberto advises Jerry to remove her stockings with her garter belt, thereby saving ten seconds. Armed with this knowledge, Jerry goes into a bedroom and strips Claudia with fifteen seconds to spare, but discovers she is frigid and her complaints ruin the sex. Jerry returns to his living room declaring Roberto stinks as a muse, and the writer wants to trade the Italian for a German muse. Offended, Roberto disappears. The doorbell rings, and a pretty woman enters, asks Jerry his name, then punches him in the gut. She announces she is “Anytime” Annie Frasier, the girl who had sex with the whole high school football team, including third stringer Jerry. Then, in gruesome detail, she boasts about taking revenge on the other boys for using her as a sexual object. Jerry discovers Annie is also a blocked blurb writer, and Roberto, who is also her muse, claimed revenge would help her writing. Upon hearing his name, Roberto appears with champagne, but leaves to aid an impotent textbook writer. Realizing their writer’s block is gone, Jerry and Annie toast to their new relationship. Then the Professor continues his lecture, ruminating on the difference between the perverted and the “straight warped.” Exhausted, he introduces the last film, Inaugural Ball. Presidential staffer Frank Hurdlemeyer meets with mafia kingpin Don Pasquale and his balding, overweight nephew, Alfredo. Pasquale is irate that after giving the President thousands in illegal contributions, the chief executive has not kept his promise to outlaw pornography, which would enable Pasquale to make a fortune selling it illegally. Pasquale warns Hurdlemeyer that he will not wait much longer. Hurdlemeyer rushes to the president, who is more interested in screaming racial epitaphs at the television than listening to Pasquale’s complaints. Trixie, the president’s adult daughter dressed in a child’s sailor suit, arrives and begs her father to come out and play. The president shoos her away with a promise to play later. Trixie then goes boating with her fiancé, who kisses her. Repulsed, Trixie demands they go back to shore when SCUBA [Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus] divers appear and kidnap her. Later, the first lady, Gladys, and the president receive a ransom note demanding they have sex on national television. For days, the president refuses, but upon learning his approval ratings are falling because the nation feels he has abandoned his daughter, he orders the Surgeon General to prepare a dose of testosterone so he can do the broadcast. However, Chief Justice McDonald informs the president that he will be prosecuted under the obscenity laws if he goes through with the act. The president blackmails McDonald into compliance with a picture of the justice in a dress. On Saturday night, Trixie complains to Pasquale’s nephew, Alfredo, about how hard it is for three people to live on $200,000 a year, when Alfredo tells her she has pretty eyes, they make love. Later, Alfredo turns on the television and sees the president and the first lady in bed. Although Gladys does her best, the president cannot achieve a erection and begins to cry under the sheets. Gladys turns to the camera and proclaims her love for her husband, which inspires him to complete the task at hand. As they reach mutual bliss, the president yells, “this means re-election.” Pasqualli watches while someone is performing fellatio on him under the sheets. Overcome with emotion, Pasqualli pulls back the covers to reveal Justice McDonald, and soon both men cry about the beauty of the first couple’s love making. Pasqualli offers to make McDonald president, before forcing him back under the covers.