Gaetano Proclo, an overweight, middle-aged Midwestern businessman, and his wife, Vivian, join her brother Carmine Vespucci, and their crying relatives in a New York City apartment where old man Vespucci lies dying. With his last words, the old man demands that Carmine kill Proclo. After the funeral, Proclo disguises himself and asks a taxi driver to drive him to a place no one would expect a Cleveland, Ohio, businessman to be. The driver drops him off at a gay bathhouse called “The Ritz.” Mistaking the Ritz for the Young Man’s Christian Association (YMCA), Proclo registers under his brother-in-law, Carmine’s name. As he fills out a membership form, a very flamboyant homosexual man named Chris asks Proclo if he ever “did” Proclo. The confused Proclo says he does not think so. Claude Perkins, a small, skinny man with glasses, tells Abe, the desk clerk, about his fetish for fat men and describes his costume for the evening’s talent show. Meanwhile, a Puerto Rican female singer named Googie Gomez arrives, convinced that a big-time producer will discover her at the bathhouse’s amateur show. When Proclo asks why a woman is in the building, Abe explains that Googie is their nightclub singer. When Mo, an elderly female accountant, walks into the back office, Proclo exclaims that there are a lot of women around for a men’s only establishment. As Proclo heads for his room, Michael Brick, a good looking young private detective with a falsetto voice, enters and asks Abe if a fat, middle-aged man has come in. Abe ignores Brick’s question and tells him to stay out of the steam bath. At the elevator, Proclo is spotted by Claude Perkins, who lusts after fat men and maneuvers Proclo into his room. Claude tries to seduce Proclo with candy bars and a roasted ham, then throws him on the bed. Proclo screams and two attendants, Tiger and Duff, appear to help Proclo to his own room, explaining that Claude is a “chubby chaser.” Proclo remembers a fellow soldier in the army named Claude. Meanwhile, as detective Michael Brick telephones Carmine for instructions, Googie feels his muscles. Fearing Googie is a transvestite, Brick hangs up and runs away. Seeing Tiger and Duff, Googie threatens she will not perform if a producer does not attend her show. Tiger spots Proclo and claims he is the producer. Later, as Proclo changes into his bathrobe, Claude serenades him through the door. Desperate to be rid of him, Proclo agrees to meet Claude in his room if he goes away, and Claude warns that “no one messes with Claude Perkins,” making Proclo realize that Claude is the Claude he knew in the Army. Proclo sneaks out of his room and hears a page calling football player Joe Namath to room 340. Proclo rushes to see his sports idol, only to find a half-naked Chris with a megaphone. Chris apologizes for the ruse and gives him a tour of the gay bathhouse. Proclo explains his directions to the taxi driver and Chris agrees he is in the right place as they enter the steam room, but Proclo quickly runs out, mouth open and eyes bulging. Proclo then overhears detective Michael Brick call Googie a transvestite, and returns to his room, only to discover Claude, breaking down the door with a fire ax. Proclo flees into Googie’s arms. She drags him to her dressing room and attempts to seduce him, but Proclo is saved when Tiger calls her onstage. Proclo finds a seat by the stage, a small platform above a swimming pool, and watches Googie destroy the song “Everything Is Coming Up Roses.” Meanwhile, Carmine arrives at the bathhouse in pursuit of Proclo. Not wanting to be seen with Michael Brick, he stands outside Brick’s closed door, and explains his plan to get a photograph of Proclo engaging in a homosexual act to be used as blackmail. He orders Brick to meet him in room 224 in fifteen minutes. Meanwhile, Claude finds Proclo, chases him onstage during Googie’s act, and knocks Googie into the pool. The two men run into the steam room, as Googie storms after them, dragging Claude out by his crotch and throwing him down a laundry chute. Later, Brick overhears Chris call Proclo by the name of his brother-in-law, “Carmine,” thus bringing Proclo to his room. Brick, who has never seen Carmine in person, mistakes Proclo for his brother-in-law and reveals their plan to photograph Proclo in a compromising act. Brick orders “Carmine,” actually Proclo, to hide under the bed so he can set the trap for Proclo. At that moment, Chris runs into the real Carmine, wearing only boxer shorts, a T-shirt and a holstered gun. Carmine mistakes Chris for Brick, and explains that he plans to “catch” Proclo having sex with a man and then kill him with the claim that he was protecting his sister’s honor. He admits the murder is provoked by his unwillingness to share the family’s lucrative sanitation business with Proclo. Going along with the ruse, Chris pretends to be Brick and convinces the real Carmine to get under the bed so he can lure Proclo into the room. Then he goes to Brick’s room and informs Proclo that his brother-in-law has a gun. There is a knock at the door, and Chris and Brick hide under the bed. Googie enters, proclaiming she is a woman whose sexual prowess will change Proclo into a heterosexual. When Brick and Chris emerges from under the bed, Googie attacks Proclo thinking he is Señor Pippin, a producer who refuses to hire her. With another knock at the door, everyone except Brick climbs under the bed. Carmine enters and, still thinking Proclo is Carmine, Brick attempts to entrap the man by seducing him, but Carmine sees Chris, Proclo and Googie under the bed. When he calls Googie a transvestite, she now believes Carmine is Señor Pippin, and attacks him. Brick knocks Carmine unconscious, then explains Carmine’s plan to keep Proclo from inheriting the family business. Proclo handcuffs Carmine to the bed, and throws Carmine’s clothes down the laundry chute. The pay phone rings, and Vivian tells her husband that she will be coming to the bathhouse dressed as a man. When Proclo tries to hide, he runs into Claude, who finally recognizes him from the army and reminisces about an Andrew Sisters act they used to perform together. In the lobby, Claude mistakes Vivian for a fat man and drags her to his room, where he jumps on her and Vivian passes out. Claude looks into her bag and finds her mink coat. Meanwhile, Carmine wakes up and runs out of the room shooting his gun. He storms into Claude’s room to find Vivian still unconscious. Hearing the gunshots Proclo begs Chris and Claude to hide him. Claude suggests they hide in plain sight and do their Andrews Sisters act. Claude puts on a Women’s Auxiliary Army Corps (WAAC) uniform. Proclo wears Vivian’s mink, and Chris dresses a la “South Pacific.” However, Carmine is not fooled and forces everyone into the pool at gunpoint. Vivian sees Proclo in her mink and screams, allowing her husband to bite the distracted Carmine, who drops the gun. As Vivian sobs that she is leaving Proclo because he is homosexual, Mo, the elderly accountant, arrives and calls Carmine “boss,” handing him the night’s receipts. Realizing that Carmine owns the bathhouse, Vivian threatens to reveal Carmine’s corruption unless he calls off the hit on Proclo and Carmine agrees. When Vivian tells the men to kiss and make up, Proclo refuses, but the whole room chants their approval. Proclo puckers his lips, but Carmine punches him in the stomach and Proclo knees him in the groin. The bathhouse men drag Carmine to the steam room. Brick tells Googie his uncle is a producer and she agrees to date him. Tiger learns Brick’s uncle is Señor Pippin. Vivian and Proclo leave the bathhouse and return to Cleveland.