In Montana, friends Jack McKee and Cecil Colson illegally shoot a steer on the large “B Bar Lazy T” ranch, cut the animal into pieces with a chainsaw, and give the meat to their landlady to cover that month’s rent. Ranch hands Curt and Burt find the remains of the steer and report the crime to ranch owner John Brown, who becomes enraged. He was once a successful hairdressing manufacturer in Schenectady, New York, but moved to Montana to purchase several ranches and consolidate them into the B Bar Lazy T. Now he roams his property in a private helicopter. Meanwhile, Jack introduces Cecil to Mary Fargo, the sister of Jack’s girl friend, Betty Fargo, and they ride into the hills to round up horses belonging to the girls’ father, Wilbur Fargo. Pairing off, Jack and Betty have sex, while Cecil and Mary smoke marijuana. At the B Bar Lazy T, Brown’s wife, Cora, calls Burt and Curt to the ranch house to ask why they have not found the rustlers, then makes sexual innuendoes and complains about their unresponsiveness. Later, Cora convinces her husband to “declare war” in the local newspaper because the rustlers have continued to pilfer their steers. The recent shootings make the front page. When Jack and Cecil attend a “Cattle Expo,” Jack approaches Brown, who is exhibiting a $50,000 white bull, and asks a few innocent-sounding questions. Later, Jack and Cecil steal the bull, deliver a $50,000 ransom note to Brown, and hide in an abandoned barn while the money is delivered from the helicopter. After escaping with the $50,000, they give instructions for Brown to find his bull in the room of a local motel. Flush with cash, Jack and Cecil take separate vacations home. Cecil, a Native American, visits his father, Mr. Colson, on the reservation where he grew up. They fish in a local lake and reminisce, until the elder Colson wonders how Cecil, despite his chronic unemployment, is able to afford a boat and a pickup truck. Jack flies home to visit his wealthy family, but over dinner with his parents and his former wife, Anna, unresolved disappointments arise. His parents leave the room in anger, Anna tries to rekindle their relationship, and Jack smashes the furniture, claiming she drives him crazy. Back in Montana, Jack and Cecil run into Burt and Curt at a bar and try to extract information about the ranch. Curt tells them Brown has called in a “stock detective” to track down the rustlers, then adds that he knows the guilty parties: “It’s you,” he says. Realizing they must recruit the ranch hands as partners, Jack and Cecil take them to a local bordello and pay for Burt and Curt to have sex with all the women there, at a cost of $350. The next morning, the four men discuss the ranch and agree to a four-way split of all proceeds. Meanwhile, Henry Beige, an aging, partly disabled detective, and his “niece,” Laura Beige, arrive at the ranch and move into private bedrooms. Beige confesses to Brown that he is good at his job because he was once a cattle rustler himself. Burt and Curt are both drawn to Laura, a young, sexy woman who feigns innocence but drinks whiskey from the bottle when nobody is looking. Later, as Cecil shoots a bull from Jack’s pickup truck with his old Indian rifle, Brown’s helicopter suddenly appears and gives chase. When the aircraft traps them, Burt and Curt reveal themselves as the pursuers, and tell Jack and Cecil they wanted them to see how poorly they planned their crime. Also, Curt says they have a better deal in the works. Later, Brown and Beige arrive to examine the bull’s carcass. When Beige extracts the bullet, he recognizes it as a fifty-caliber round from an old buffalo rifle. Meanwhile, Jack and Cecil invite Betty and Mary to their house, where they have a catered dinner complete with a bluegrass band. The couples dance, become inebriated, and wake up in the morning, nude in bed. The girls’ father, Wilbur Fargo, storms into the house, bringing his entire family to shame them. Jack fires his gun at Wilbur and demands he kneel down and beg for his daughters’ forgiveness. Later, Cecil steals Wilbur’s Lincoln Continental automobile, drives it onto Brown’s ranch, and uses it for target practice with his buffalo rifle. When Brown finds the car and has it towed to the ranch house, he tells Beige the bullet holes in the metal must have been made by the same fifty-caliber bullets that killed his bulls. He berates Beige for not doing his job. Meanwhile, Curt courts Laura and praises her for being an old-fashioned, innocent woman. When he says he loves her and gently kisses her, Laura becomes sexually aggressive. Afterward, Curt tells Burt he plans to marry her. Meanwhile, after learning from a policeman that the Lincoln Continental belongs to Wilbur Fargo, Brown goes to Wilbur’s house and guesses from the man’s demeanor that he knows who stole the car. However, Wilbur refuses to say anything. At the dinner table, Brown announces that he will solve the crime and no longer needs Beige. The next day, Brown returns to Wilbur’s house with policemen and has him arrested for rustling. Elsewhere, Jack and Cecil rent a tractor-and-trailer, drive onto the ranch, and round up more than a dozen head of cattle. As they drive away, however, they are blocked by Henry Beige, who is hosting a pie contest with half a dozen policemen and more than a dozen local women. The policemen arrest Jack and Cecil. Meanwhile, other police take Curt and Burt into custody. Later, at the ranch house, Beige explains that cattle rustling is usually an “inside job,” and all he had to do was wait for either Curt and Burt to make a mistake. Brown pays Beige for his services, and Laura says she is anxious to get her “cut” for learning the details of the theft from Curt. Later, Jack and Cecil ride horses at a ranch. They pass a sign that says they are on the Rancho Deluxe prison ranch.