In one morning, John Winger, a taxi cab driver, loses his job, his girlfriend, his car and his apartment. Realizing that his life lacks direction, he enlists in the army and convinces his friend, Russell Ziskey, an English language instructor, to join him. At Fort Arnold, Drill Sgt. Hulka’s orientation speech informs the new recruits that they are going to be transformed into a United States soldier no matter how bright or stupid they are. During introductions, a recruit named Francis, nicknamed “Psycho” doesn’t want his things touched. Dewey Oxburger aka “Ox”, who couldn’t afford the EST motivational seminar designed to transform his life, joins the army for free to become fit. At dawn, when Hulka announces a five-mile run, John suggests that it should be postponed until they are more rested. Hulka stares him down and changes the exercise to a ten-mile run. Meanwhile, Capt. Stillman is bored and plays war games in his office, yearning more action and less paperwork. Later, when Russell’s glasses are cracked during exercises, he tells John he wants to quit. John sneaks them aboard a transport plane amidst a training mission, but they end up back at boot camp. Col. Glass puts Stillman in charge of a new piece of equipment, the EM-50, an urban assault vehicle. Later, Hulka questions his men about which trainees left the base without permission. Only Russell confesses and earns twenty-four hours of kitchen patrol aka KP duty, but since no one else comes forward, Hulka assigns the rest of the unit KP duty for the next two weekends as well. Afterward, Hulka invites John into the latrine for a private talk, and suggests that a fight will clear the air. When John swings and misses, Hulka lands a solid punch to John’s midsection and he drops to the floor. Hulka says he’ll forget about what just happened but John should reflect on what duty and honor mean. Soon after, Russell discovers that John is missing. When he finds his AWOL friend, he reminds him that it was John’s idea to enlist in the first place and insists that they finish basic training. At a training exercise, Stillman orders a soldier to fire a mortar even though the soldier doesn’t know how to program it. After demonstrating a rope climbing exercise, Hulka is hurt when the mortar shell topples the rope apparatus he stands on. Later, the unit goes to a club to watch women mud wrestlers, and John pushes Ox into the ring when the emcee asks for a volunteer. During Ox’s wrestling match, military police raid the club and round up the men. Some military policewomen save John and Russell from getting arrested. Stillman wants an explanation and plans to throw the unit in the stockade for a few days until a soldier reminds him that graduation is the next day. He warns the men that they will have to repeat basic training when Gen. Barnicki sees how bad they are. Instead of going back to the barracks, John and Russell crash Gen. Barnicki’s private quarters with the military policewomen in tow, who become their girlfriends. When John and Russell return to the barracks, they find their unit depressed at the thought or repeating basic training. Russell convinces the other men that three hours is enough time to cram for their graduation, and they practice formation exercises until the wee hours of the morning. When they wake up, the unit realizes graduation has started without them. They show up and perform their formations with verve. When Barnicki asks where their drill sergeant is, they tell him he was injured and they completed training without him. The general rewards their initiative by assigning them to Italy immediately as part of the EM-50 project. Hulka is also sent to Italy. In Italy, the men are shown the EM-50 vehicle and Hulka orders John and Russell to guard it all weekend. John and Russell hatch a plan to visit their MP girlfriends in the Alps, driving the EM-50. When Stillman brings his date to the hangar to show off the EM-50, a guard tells him the men took the vehicle to the car wash. Stillman organizes a secret rescue mission so that word of the missing vehicle doesn’t spread. Meanwhile, John and Russell meet their girlfriends for some fun, while Stillman breaks through checkpoints into Czechoslovakia and gets shot at by border guards. Further on, Russian tanks capture Stillman and his men, but Hulka escapes into the woods. John, Russell, and the girlfriends hear Hulka’s distress call, and realizing that their unit was looking for them and got captured, they steal a couple of Russian military vehicles at the border. At the Czech base, Russell activates the EM-50’s armored plates and launches a rocket that destroys the tower. Russell activates a wall of fire, causing more Russian soldiers to flee. When John and Russell find their unit behind locked doors, Ox uses his strength to break down the door, and the Americans escape to the EM-50. A Russian tank attempts to stop the Americans, but is destroyed. As protective armored plates of the EM-50 slide back into place, the vehicle crashes through the border gates to safety. Back in the U.S., the unit receives a heroic welcome. Later, Hulka retires to start a burger franchise, one of the military policewomen is featured on a Penthouse cover, and the other makes the cover of RoadLife magazine; Russell is the subject of a cover story for Guts magazine, and John is featured on the cover of Newsworld . Meanwhile, Stillman is sent to the Artic to be the new military weatherman.