On a snow-laden Cleveland Street in 1940s Hammond, Indiana, Ralphie Parker lives with his parents and little brother, Randy. Through retrospective narration as an adult, Ralphie reveals that Christmas, the event around which the entire kid year revolves, is fast approaching. That night, young Ralphie and his friends Flick and Schwartz head downtown where they ogle toys in the Higbee’s department store window. Electric trains, Raggedy Ann dolls and a sled are among the many items on display, but Ralphie only has eyes for one item, the “Holy Grail of Christmas gifts” – a genuine Red Ryder 200-Shot Carbine Action Air Rifle. Ralphie vows to somehow plant it into his parents’ subconscious that an air rifle is the best Christmas toy for him. When the family sits down to dinner that night as Ralphie’s father works on one of his “silly prize puzzles,” Ralphie further schemes to introduce the idea of an air rifle by stating that Flick thought he saw a few bears by the department store. Ralphie’s parents simply stare back at him, dumbfounded by his irrational remark. However, Ralphie’s mother inquires, point blank, what he would like for Christmas. Caught off guard, Ralphie blurts out, “I want an official Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!” and his mother responds with the classic mother BB gun block, “You’ll shoot your eye out.” Discouraged by his inability to downplay his desire for a BB gun and his mother’s negative response, Ralphie fantasizes about an instance when the family, being attacked by Black Bart and his evil henchmen, need Ralph and his trusty air rifle, “Old Blue,” to save them from certain annihilation. After shouting “Adios, Bart!” and surveying a pile of thwarted attackers now with X’s for eyes, Ralphie is abruptly brought back to reality by his father’s profanity-laden remarks about the family’s frozen-up Oldsmobile. Again through narration, Ralphie reveals that his father is not only a master of obscenities but also one of the most feared furnace fighters in Northern Indiana. Later, bundled up on the way to school, Ralph and Randy meet up with Flick and Schwartz, who argue about whether or not a person’s tongue could get stuck to a pole in freezing weather. That day at recess, Schwartz utters the “coup-de-gras of dares,” triple dog daring Flick. Flick’s tongue does indeed stick to the pole and the bell rings calling the children back to class. Flick is rescued by the fire and police departments. When he returns to the classroom, with a bandage tied around his tongue, the boys’ teacher, Miss Shields, announces that she wants each student to write a theme about what they want for Christmas. Ralphie realizes this as the perfect chance to gain an ally in his quest for a BB gun. He sets out to write the most elegant Red Ryder air rifle essay, certain that it will compel Miss Shields to give him an A+++++++ and his mother will finally be convinced to buy him one for Christmas. Before making it home to compose his poetic theme, however, Ralphie, Randy, Flick and Schwartz are terrorized by the yellow-eyed school bully, Scut Farkus and his toadie Grover Dill. While Randy lies on the ground like a slug as his only defense, the older boys escape Scut’s clutches, eventually arriving home without injury. That night while Ralph checks the mail for his Little Orphan Annie decoder pin and works on his theme, Ralphie’s father arrives home, screaming that he won a prize to be delivered that night, as the dogs from next door terrorize him in the driveway. The award was for completing a puzzle, and the prize, which arrives in a wooden crate marked FRAGILE, turns out to be a risqué leg lamp that he places in the family’s front window. Though Ralphie is mesmerized by the “electric sex” in the family’s front room, his mother remains unhappy with the prize, repeatedly turning it off. Several days pass filled with school, Scut’s bullying and Little Orphan Annie radio programs without the arrival of his decoder pin. One evening, Ralphie and his family go to pick up their Christmas tree. When the car blows a tire on the way home, Ralphie’s mother suggests for the first time in his life that he help his father with the repair, but Ralpie manages to spill the nuts and bolts his father hands him and utters, not the word “fudge,” but the word, “the f--- word.” Once his mother learns what he said, Ralphie finds himself with a bar of Lifebuoy soap in his mouth, the flavor of which even his mother cannot stand. Perhaps one day, Ralphie fantasizes, he will suffer a terrible case of soap poisoning and go blind, finally convincing his parents of their wrongdoing. The next day, Ralphie finally receives his decoder pin and uses it to decode that nights Little Orphan Annie Secret Circle message – “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.” While disappointed by “the crummy commercial” he decoded, Ralphie’s frustration is quickly forgotten when his mother, possibly on purpose, breaks his fathers leg lamp while watering her plant in the living room. Ralphie’s father is crushed, and after a few failed attempts to salvage his award, he buries it in the back yard. The next day at school, Ralphie receives his theme grade, a C+ with the note “P.S. You’ll shoot your eye out!” causing him to conclude that Miss Shields was in cahoots with his mother and that he might never get his precious Red Ryder air rifle. On his way home from school, Ralphie is once again confronted by Scut and Grover, but this time, aided by his theme-induced frustration, Ralphie fights back with a storm of profanities, bloodying Scut’s face and forcing Ralphie’s mother to intervene. Back at home, his mother downplays “the Scut Farkus Affair” when his father inquires, saving Ralphie from certain death and reinvigorating his campaign for his ideal Christmas present. Finally, Ralphie decides that Santa is a viable avenue for getting his Red Ryder air rifle, so he and his family set out for “Santa’s Mountain” at Higbee’s. After waiting in line, Ralphie and Randy finally reach a disgruntled, unenthusiastic Santa who distracts Ralphie from his mission and sends him down a slide. However, Ralphie snaps out of his stupor in time to crawl back up the chute to Santa’s lofty throne and shout his desire for a BB gun. Santa simply replies, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid” and pushes the defeated Ralphie back down the slide. When Christmas finally arrives, Ralph and Randy receive dozens of presents, including an elaborate pink bunny suit hand-sewn for Ralphie by his Aunt Clara. Just when Ralphie thinks his Christmas has ended without receiving his prized gift, his father points out a hidden present behind a desk. To Ralphie’s surprise, it is his coveted Red Ryder air rifle. Immediately, he rushes outside to try it out, and almost shoots his eye out after a BB ricochets off a piece of metal. Crafting an ingenious plan to protect his new toy, Ralphie tells his mother that a giant icicle fell from the garage, a story that she quickly buys because “icicles have been known to kill people.” However, while Ralphie’s mother tends to his wound, the next-door dogs infiltrate the Parker home, devouring their holiday turkey and incensing Ralphie’s father, a known turkey junkie. Instead of their usual feast, the Parker family enjoys an unforgettable Christmas meal out together in a Chinese restaurant and Ralphie goes to bed that night clutching his air rifle – the best Christmas gift he would ever receive.