High school junior Marlon Brown cannot keep his mind on taking the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT), as he keeps ogling his classmate, Jessica Kailo. When the bell rings, Marlon hands his paper into his guidance counselor, Mrs. Wyler, who stares in horror at his test sheet. The following year, Marlon explains to his friend, Oliver, that he plans to go to whatever college Jessica is attending. Oliver advises that Marlon’s collegiate future should not be based on his crush on a girl that has not spoken to him since sixth grade. Instead, Oliver tries to persuade Marlon to hitchhike across the country, hunting for game show models with unredeemed vacation prizes. Across the cafeteria, Jessica regales her friends with a story of a girl who went for her college interview prepared to talk about world peace or the newest scientific discoveries, only to have the interviewer ask what household appliance she wanted to be and why. Before the girl finished answering, the interviewer declared her time up and asked if she had anything more to reveal about herself. The girl panicked, ripped open her blouse, then cut her throat with a letter opener. As the girls recoil in horror, Jessica laughs and tells them to stop stressing about getting into college. Later, Marlon runs into Jessica, who is campaigning for senior class president. His offer to help is interrupted by Mrs. Wyler, asking to see Jessica. Marlon overhears Jessica tell Wyler that she plans to go to Ramsey College. At Ramsey College, admission recruiters Kip Hammett and Nina Sachie present a campaign to promote the notion that the college is looking beyond test scores for well-rounded applicants. Leo Whitman, another recruiter, presents his own slogan “Go to Ramsey and drive a BMW.” As they squabble, Chancellor Joanna Holbrook announces that Admissions Dean Patterson is retiring and she will promote one of the admission staff to take his place. After the meeting, Leo, Kip, and Nina make fun of “Flutter,” the forth recruiter, who once enrolled a pig based on phony transcripts, by leaving a toy hog on his desk. That night, Jessica argues with her parents over going to Ramsey. Although they are both Michigan University alums, they agree to go to a college fair to check out Ramsey’s booth. Marlon and Oliver also attend the fair, where Marlon meets Nina, but is too shy to ask about Ramsey. As the fair closes, Marlon runs up to Kip and tells him why he needs to go to Ramsey. Kip first tells him it is a mistake to plan his whole life around a girl, but after staring at Nina flirting with a recruiter from Harvard, Kip changes his mind and invites Marlon to the Ramsey open house. At home, Marlon’s father, Bill Browne, and his twenty-four year old stepmother, Sharon, berate Marlon for not heeding Mrs. Wyler’s warnings to look for “safety schools.” However, his father agrees to enroll Marlon into an SAT preparation boot camp. The boot camp is a money trap, where the advisor’s only real guidance is not to leave any question unanswered, as all blanks are scored as an error. Marlon asks the instructors if they can help him get into Ramsey, and they suggest he try getting in on a sports scholarship. They change their minds when Marlon states the only sport he can play is ping-pong. Across town, Ramsey recruiter Nina meets with star athlete, Ronny Paulson, but rejects him when his coach asks for money and a car in exchange for Ronny’s enrollment. She notices Vera Cook, another senior, studying surrounded by unruly students. She meets Vera and her mother while Vera works at a McDonald’s fast food restaurant. Vera’s mother declares Nina is wasting their time, Vera accepts Nina’s invitation to tour Ramsey. After flunking the SAT a second time, Marlon runs into Jessica and lets her know he is going to the Ramsey’s open house. Jessica’s friends laugh, and tell her Marlon has no chance of being accepted. At the open house, Nina watches Leo chat with all the “important parents” and chastises Kip for not trying to get promoted. At the recruits only party, Marlon and Oliver sit with Vera. Oliver explains his plans to see the world accompanied by game show models as Jessica walks in. After a few drinks, they walk the campus while Jessica predicts she will ace her interview. The next morning, Jessica overhears Leo arguing with Dean Patterson’s secretary, that the son of a rich alum should not be interviewed by Flutter, a recruiter, who Leo claims only sees the mediocre students who are “state college material” and “a dime a dozen.” Jessica looks at her appointment card and notices she is being interviewed by Flutter. Just before ushering in Jessica, Flutter sees that his office has been bobby trapped with toy pigs. During the interview, he is dismayed when a balloon pig floats out of a closet. Jessica, who is unaware of the source of Flutter’s anxiety, thinks she is failing the interview. After droning on about wanting to study art restoration, Jessica is stopped by Flutter stating she is out of time and asks if she has anything else to reveal about herself. Jessica screams, rips open her blouse and runs out of the office. Flutter, fixated on the balloon, has no idea what happened. Marlon skips his own interview to chase after Jessica. When Jessica confesses she blew her interview, Marlon assures her the only way she could have ruined her chances to attend Ramsey is if she exposed herself. Jessica runs off crying. Marlon finds Kip and asks him to help Jessica. Kip agrees on condition that Marlon worry about his own admission. Kip finds Jessica and tells her that Flutter observed she was an extremely well rounded young lady. Thinking Kip is alluding to her breasts, Jessica screams and runs away. Since Marlon’s test scores are low, the SAT counselors suggest he might stand out with extra-curricular activities. Following their advice, Marlon opens a daycare center, where he accidently throws a kid through a garage door during an “airplane ride.” He takes professional wrestling classes, only to be body slammed by a female wrestler. He finally takes up juggling before making a video tape essay for the admission office. Marlon discovers that Jessica did not even apply to Ramsey. She breaks down, believing she is “common.” Marlon explains people who are common do not worry about being common. He then talks her into driving to Ramsey to beat the evening application deadline. As they drive, Jessica writes her essay titled “Secret Confessions of a High School Prom Queen.” Finding the admissions office closed, Marlon breaks in and delivers the application. When Marlon drops Jessica off, she kisses him, and hopes they can spend the next four years together. Days later, Ramsey accepts Jessica, but vetoes Vera Cook, because her SAT scores were too low. Although Nina and Kip argue passionately on her behalf, Vera is put on a waitlist. Kip attempts to show Marlon’s videotape, but Leo insists it is a waste of time as his numbers are so low. Kip is incensed and informs Leo if he becomes dean of admissions, the college will lose all pretensions of trying to find students with personalities and creativity. Walking out of the room, Kip announces that he will quit if Leo is made dean. Nina follows Kip home to watch Marlon’s video where he juggles, wrestles and tries to “discipline kids.” One of the little girls tells him to “grow up.” Marlon confides that he is growing up as fast as he can, but needs time to mature and figure out what direction his life should take. Nina calls Leo a “pig,” which gives Kip an idea. The next day, Leo is handed a file for a candidate with a test score “off the chart.” He declares this is the type of student Ramsey needs. Kip agrees, then escorts the “candidate into the room. It is a baby elephant. Kip argues that if Ramsey’s new standards were in effect when he applied, he would not have been admitted. Chancellor Joanna Holbrook agrees to admit Vera and Marlon. Days later, Oliver finds Marlon unconscious on his front lawn holding his acceptances letter. Oliver revives him to announce he is leaving town. The friends say goodbye and Oliver sticks his thumb out. A pink Cadillac, towing a trailer of household appliances and driven by game show models pick him up. Jessica arrives and after reading Marlon’s acceptance letter, embraces him.