“The Colonel,” the CEO of Hunky Chunks candy and a wannabe General Patton, leads his male executives against a rival candy company in a game of paintball and takes a hit to the chest. A large female referee appears, and when the Colonel refuses to show his “wound,” she kicks him between the legs and declares him dead. Just then, Mark Darwin, an up-and-coming executive at Hunky Chunks, runs by carrying the enemy’s flag and plants it in the winner’s circle. The next day, Ann Barnes, the company’s only female executive, is frustrated that no one will read her sales report. Instead, they gather around Mark to re-live his heroics on the field of “honor.” When the Colonel arrives, Ann rushes to show him her report, but he gives it to Mark, and declares that after yesterday’s heroics, he is thinking of giving Mark the vice-president position that has become open. The Colonel then enters his office where Florence, his soon-to-be ex-wife, informs him she is remodeling their house and wants the combat helicopter to ferry her around while shopping. The Colonel explodes and hurls books at her until she flees. Ann demands to be considered for the promotion, but the Colonel tells her she will only rise in the ranks if she can raise an army and defeat him at paintball. Later, Ann is moved from her corner office so that Mark’s can be enlarged, causing her to declare “war.” That night, Mark visits the home of Eddie Fishbeck, another “Hunky Chunks” executive. While they drink beer and watch football, Eddie’s wife, Linda, wears herself out cooking dinner, cleaning house and disciplining the kids. Waving off her pleas to fix the garbage disposal, Eddie mentions that Ann is starting a paintball team. The next day, Linda enlists. Ann recruits other executives' wives, including Florence, who takes them shopping for paintball guns and stylish uniforms. After watching how dismal the women do on a child’s obstacle course in Linda’s backyard, Ann replies to a newspaper advertisement for a “mercenary soldier trainer.” The next day, Klaus arrives and puts the ladies through a grueling boot camp. Eddie comes home to find the women firing assault weapons with live ammunition. When he demands the women leave, Klaus threatens to pop out his eyes and Eddie backs away. The next day, children surround Klaus as he watches the ladies run around a track. When one baby cries, the other children demand Klaus hold the baby. Terrified, he picks up the child, who stops crying to his delight. That night, Mark visits Ann at home and meets Warren, her effeminate boyfriend. When Warren leaves the room, Mark tells Ann he read her report and is advising the Colonel to initiate her recommendations. They are about to kiss when Mark tells her she can give up her foolish paintball army, and Ann throws him out of her house. As days pass, Klaus spends more time watching the children while Linda takes over as drill sergeant, wearing camouflage and barking orders. One day, Eddie returns home to find Klaus wearing an apron and doing dishes while Linda shows the girls how to use pressure points in combat. Meanwhile, the Colonel assigns his assistant, Finstermacher, to spy on Florence. The little man discovers that Florence has taken the money the Colonel gave her for clothes and bought the Sweet and Puffy candy company, and is using its assets to attempt a hostile takeover of Hunky Chunks. Florence calls and offers to buy the Colonel’s remaining stock, but he proposes that whoever wins the paintball match gets the company. The day before the contest, Klaus gives the girls a pep talk, then discloses he is off on a secret mission. Later, Eddie refuses to make love to Linda, calling her a terrorist. The next day, as Warren watches from a tree, the two armies take their places. The Colonel is so sure of victory that he leads his men in a frontal assault against the women, only to be cut down by a hail of paintballs. He retreats to his base, and despite Mark’s protests, has his men change uniforms so the referee will think they have not been hit. They counter attack, using a flamethrower rigged to spray paint. When the female referee appears and declares the weapon illegal, the Colonel douses her with paint. Infuriated, she storms off screaming. Florence leaps from behind a tree and shoots the Colonel in the chest, but he pulls out a new shirt and Florence barely escapes unstained. When the Colonel realizes Mark is missing, Finstermacher informs him that Mark has a crush on Ann. Declaring Mark a traitor, he orders Finstermacher to hunt Mark down, but the little man runs into two women who scare him away with karate moves. As the men move forward, Linda swings out of a tree on a rope, snatches a man and disappears. The Colonel panics and rushes to his base to find Finstermacher supervising two men as they dig a trap. Ann and Florence hide nearby and overhear the Colonel tell Finstermacher to capture the game’s judge so he cannot declare the women the winners. Meanwhile, the female referee enters a portable restroom, which has been booby-trapped by the men to glue shut when the door closes. In a fit of rage, she shakes the outhouse, which falls backward off a cliff. Downfield, Eddie spots Linda and attempts to talk to her, but she opens fire. He hides behind a boulder and is captured by Ann. They hear a high-pitched scream and find Warren suspended upside down in a snare set by Linda. The women blindfold their prisoners and force them to play Russian roulette by making each man hold a beer to his forehead, not knowing if it was shaken or not. The Colonel attacks and the women flee with Eddie. Finding Warren, the Colonel declares him a spy and drags him back to base. Eddie cannot run with his arms bound, so Linda gags him and leaves him in a field. Later, Mark finds Eddie and they agree that both sides have gone too far. Mark admits Ann should get the promotion and Eddie promises to be more supportive of Linda. Only Ann, Florence, and Linda remain from the women’s army. As the trio walks down a dry streambed, they stumble onto the wrecked outhouse and the excrement-covered referee. She informs them there is a raft nearby they can use to attack the men’s base. As Ann takes the overland route, the three other women paddle across the lake, but get lost and blame the referee’s weight for causing the raft to swamp. Ann stumbles upon Mark and he tells her she got the job. As they kiss, the Colonel, Warren and Finstermacher arrive and congratulate Mark on capturing Ann. The Colonel offers Ann the promotion if she gives up the game, then fires her when she refuses. As she storms into the woods, the Colonel realizes she is still “alive,” and orders his men after her. Ann runs to the lake, but falls into the trap Finstermacher set earlier. The men arrive, and Mark declares his love for Ann and tells the Colonel she should get the promotion. The Colonel threatens to shoot him, but the other women appear and there is a standoff. Eddie gives up and tells Linda he wants her back. Warren then appears carrying both army’s flags and declares them all losers. The Colonel shoots him and he falls into the hole. Florence still wants to fight and strikes the Colonel, who collapses. Thinking she may have killed him, Florence yells that he can keep his company. The Colonel opens his eyes and asks her to put it in writing. She punches him in the face and he yells, “What a woman!”