On May 10, 1951, at radio station WEQT in Detroit, Michigan, producer Victor receives a telephone threat that a bomb is set to detonate in the studio. Everyone runs except a writer, who keeps typing. After the bomb explodes, a dark figure walks away. Six months later, at WXBU in New Orleans, Louisiana, general manager Sam O’Grady informs news writer Martin Loader that he hired a well-known dramatic writer, Pedro Carmichael, to take over the radio station’s failing soap opera, Kings of the Garden District, a saga of the wealthy Quince family. Martin drives to the train depot to pick up his Aunt Julia, who is returning home after years in New York City. Julia confesses to Martin that she dislikes men, but needs to find another rich husband as soon as possible. He leaves her with his Uncle Luke and Aunt Olga Loader’s house. Later, at a welcome home party, Julia wards off several men by telling them she has a movie date with Martin, her young nephew. At WXBU, Martin objects to Pedro Carmichael hogging the newsroom typewriter, and when the older man provokes a fight, Martin knocks him down. Sam O’Grady threatens to fire Martin, but Carmichael defends the young man and claims they are friends. Carmichael spices up the daily soap opera: Elmore Dubuque’s marriage to Elena Quince breaks the heart of her brother, Richard Quince, who tells Uncle Albert Quince that he loves Elena not as a sister, but a woman. Listeners all over New Orleans are spellbound. Carmichael invites Martin to a café, but when the young man claims he would “kind of like” to be a fiction writer, Carmichael mocks him for not being serious enough. Martin later meets Aunt Julia for dinner, but she is with Brent Maconnochie, a wealthy but stodgy bachelor. Martin asks Julia to dance, and chides her for dating dull men, but she likes dull men because they behave themselves. In the soap opera, Elena Quince Dubuque confesses to Uncle Albert that she is pregnant with her brother Richard’s baby. Martin Loader takes flowers to Julia and kisses her. When she reminds him that she is his aunt, Martin reminds Julia in turn that she is not his blood relative, but rather the sister of his Uncle Luke Loader’s wife. Furthermore, the fact that Julia is thirty-six and Martin only twenty-one does not faze him. Julia agrees to accompany him that evening to a jazz club. The next day, they fish on the Gulf of Mexico, and Martin declares he is going to write a book called My Aunt Julia. At the radio station, Carmichael gives the actors a pep talk about putting more emotion into their work. He pulls aside the middle-aged Leonard Pando, the voice of young “Richard Quince,” and suggests he relax by masturbating before the program. In the soap opera, the broken-hearted Richard Quince elects to live as a monk at Father Serafim’s leper colony. Meanwhile, his father, vermin extermination king Robert E. Quince, confesses to Father Serafim that when he was a child looking after his infant sister, she was killed by rats, and that is why he dedicated his life to eradicating vermin, as well as Albanians. Elena Quince visits her brother at the leper colony, and despite Richard’s vow of chastity, they proclaim their love. In the studio, actor Leonard Pando’s vocal performance is more emotional than ever as he pulls the equally middle-aged actress portraying Elena to the floor, requiring Carmichael to follow them with the microphone. Afterward, a glowing Leonard thanks Carmichael for the advice. After seeing An American in Paris at a movie theater, Martin takes Julia to a soda shop and confesses his dream to live in Paris, but Ernest Hemingway’s Paris, not Hollywood’s. Imagining a magic moment at a Parisian café, he includes Julia in his reverie and she is briefly carried away. However, she snaps out of it and brings Martin back to reality. Pedro Carmichael joins them, but Julia has to rush off. The old writer congratulates Martin on his taste in women. As they leave, several Albanians accost Carmichael because of his constant allusions to Albanians as goat farmers and worse on Kings of the Garden District. The Albanians hurry away as a police siren approaches. The next day, Albanians picket the radio station. Sid O’Grady, the other half of general manager Sam O’Grady’s split personality, tells Martin he is getting complaints from the Albanian community, but the soap opera’s audience has increased 183%, so what can he do? When Martin suggests that Carmichael “go easy” on Albanians, the writer insists that audiences need to hate somebody because it adds to the “impact of reality.” Carmichael invites Martin and Julia to his house for dinner that evening, and when they arrive, the host is dressed as a maid and wears a wig. He gives a dramatic display of dusting that, he claims, is supposed to show years of drudgery raising nine children. After serving wine, Carmichael shows them food in the kitchen and leaves. Martin professes his love to Julia, and she claims she does not want to hurt him. As they argue, Carmichael lurks outside, recording their conversation. He turns it into dialogue for Kings of the Garden District. When Martin goes to Aunt Olga’s house to see Julia, he discovers her with a new man, Dr. Ted Orson. Julia later telephones to explain, and when Martin hangs up, she hurries to the radio station to order him to never hang up on her again. As they argue, Carmichael takes notes outside the door. Listening to the soap opera while driving home, Martin recognizes the dialogue and hurries back to confront Carmichael. He challenges the writer’s right to commandeer his conversations, but Carmichael counters that Martin, like everyone else, gets his words and emotions from writers, and he is simply recycling them. As a peace gesture, Carmichael gives Martin two tickets to a jazz nightclub. However, Carmichael also telephones Aunt Olga and tells her that she and her husband won complimentary WXBU tickets to the club. When Uncle Luke and Aunt Olga arrive, Julia panics, grabs Martin, and scurries out the back door. Martin carries her to a romantic spot on the river and kisses her, The next day, Julia telephones Martin at the station to inform him that his parents, Donald and Frances Loader, and the rest of the family are aware of their affair and have branded her a “fallen woman.” Martin’s father, a deputy sheriff, suddenly arrives, hits him, and threatens to jail Julia on a “morals bust.” He tells his son that Luke and Olga are ready to throw her out of their house. Nearby, as Carmichael listens in, he is worried about where to take this new twist in the story. He talks Martin into asking Julia to marry him, then drives them to a remote church on the bayou. On the way, Julia warns Martin that when he reaches her current age, she will be over fifty. Regardless, Martin professes his love, so Julia offers a five-year marriage deal, which will give Martin enough time to get tired of her, but leave her young enough to find a rich older man. During the wedding ceremony, Martin realizes the preacher is Leonard Pando in costume and unmasks him. Julia runs from the church and steals Carmichael’s car. Martin jumps on Leonard Pando’s motorcycle and chases her, yelling that he had nothing to do with the ruse. As Julia packs her belongings, Olga Loader begs her to remain in New Orleans and to promise Martin’s parents she will stay away from him, but Julia is determined to leave. Later, Martin sees Julia with Dr. Orson. He tries to intervene, but Orson knocks him down and drives away with Julia. Meanwhile, Sam O’Grady informs Carmichael that his (imaginary) brother, Sid, promised local Albanians that there will be no more Albanian insults and jokes on Kings of the Garden District. As the program begins with new, inoffensive dialogue, Carmichael thanks the actors and leaves. He telephones Martin, gives him the address of Ted Orson’s townhouse, and pulls the radio station fire alarm, forcing an evacuation. Carmichael stays behind and takes over the microphone. Serving as a narrator, he uses various voices to wrap up the story. Richard Quince dresses as a doctor to attend his baby’s birth. Uncle Albert Quince confesses that he, not Richard, is the father of Elena Quince because of his affair with his brother’s wife, Margaret Quince. That means Elena and Richard are cousins, not siblings. However, more story twists reveal that Elena and Richard are not even cousins. Kings of the Garden District ends as Albanians rape a German shepherd dog outside the hospital, and Elmore Dubuque shoots Albert and Margaret. Real Albanians set the radio station afire, and Martin decides to shoot Julia and Dr. Orson. However, when Martin finds Julia sitting in Carmichael’s car, she is alone. She explains that when Martin saw her with Dr. Orson that afternoon, she was saying goodbye. Julia and Martin climb into the back seat and make love. Afterward, Martin insists they are getting married and going to France. A stolen fire truck pulls alongside and Carmichael wishes them luck. He is leaving to write for television in New York, and confesses to being half-Albanian. As Carmichael drives away, the soap opera cast stands on the back of the fire truck, waving goodbye to Martin and Julia. Later, the couple embrace on a tour boat in the reflection of Paris's Eiffel Tower.