In December 1944, near the French-German border, six American soldiers, all geniuses, are defending a house in the snow-covered woods of the Ardennes Forest. Private Vance “Mother” Wilkins, a twenty-six year-old who has received word that his first child was delivered stillborn, runs out of his foxhole, tearing off his clothes, and kneels in a frozen stream. His comrade, Sergeant Will Knott, hands Mother his clothes and offers to report his action, claiming he could get a “Section Eight” for being crazy, and be sent home. However, Mother believes the charge would not be credible without other witnesses. They are relieved by Private Paul “Father” Mundy, an ex-seminarian, Bud Miller, the squad’s mechanic, and Stan Shutzer, the group’s “Jewish avenging angel.” The only remaining soldier, Mel Avakian, watches from a distance. Will reminisces that his original group of twelve soldiers was an experimental reconnaissance unit, made up of geniuses, which the U.S. Army hoped would improve the quality of intelligence about the Germans. When Major Griffin sent them on their first mission, only half the squad returned, and Will was promoted to sergeant. He receives orders from Griffin to move to a clearing ten miles west to alert the main force if they see signs of a German offensive. With a week’s food rations and two Jeeps, the six men move forward. They stop short upon finding the corpses of an American and a German soldier frozen together, as if dancing. Father orders the men to separate the bodies and uses grease from his rifle to anoint their foreheads with a cross. In the clearing, they discover an empty house and are pleased to find beds, quilted sheets, and boxes of wine. Will remembers the day before they left the States. He, Avakian, Shutzer, and a boy named Eddie, were intent on losing their virginity to a prostitute, but met a nice girl who volunteered to sleep with them all. Once in the hotel room, she revealed that her boyfriend was killed in Italy, and she planned to commit suicide. They spent all night talking her out of it and fell asleep. Before dawn, the girl made love to each of them, and they put her on a bus home. The squad is thrown into confusion when they hear a German voice wishing them a good night. Will wants to investigate, but Avakian, who fears an ambush, holds him back. Avakian radios Griffin about their encounter, and orders Will to lead a patrol to find the enemy’s command post. They discover a hut, but Will retreats instead of ambushing the Germans, since the enemy refrained from attacking them the night before. As the soldiers walk back to the house, three Germans appear with rifles raised, but hold their fire and let the Americans run. Humiliated, Shutzer builds a snow “Hitler,” with an obscene message spelled out with pine needles. That night, as the clouds clear, Will sees a German a few yards away. He hurls a grenade, but the soldier does not fall, and he realizes it is a scarecrow. Will hears Germans reading the anti-Hitler obscenity that Shutzer left in the snowman. When Mother looks out of the foxhole, he is hit by a snowball. Soon, both sides are hurling snowballs at each other. As the Germans run away, Mother yells for them to sleep well. The next morning, Shutzer finds a map in the scarecrow’s hand with a location and time written on it, leading him to believe the Germans want to talk. He envisions that if the Germans want to surrender, they will make it look like Mother captured them single handedly, so that he will be sent home as a hero. Will and Shutzer go to the location at the designated time and find an old German officer waiting. Communicating in German and Yiddish, Shutzer learns there are seven old and very young Germans who want to surrender. However, they will only yield to an officer. Will lets the rest of the squad in on his scheme to help Mother and they disguise Avakian as an officer. That night, the Germans leave a Christmas tree lit with candles just outside the Americans’ perimeter and sing Christmas carols. The two sides swap wine for schnapps and celebrate Christmas Eve. The German officer surrenders his Lugar, and Mother gives him a grenade, which the soldier hangs on the Christmas tree. Later, Mother returns to the chateau, worried because he could not get anyone on the radio. He disapproves of fraternizing with the enemy. The next morning, the German officer meets with Avakian and states that a major German offensive is coming. He is willing to surrender his men, but fears their families will be shot if they give up without a fight. They agree to stage a fake battle. Will radios headquarters that he intends to capture a prisoner. Leaving Mother behind, the squad meets the Germans and fire into the air, but Mother races to the mock battle and shoots a German. As Father rushes to stop him, he is shot by the German officer. A gunfight ensues, Shutzer is wounded, and most of the Germans are killed. As Father bleeds to death, he makes Will promise he will not tell Mother the truth. The men return to the house, where Griffin orders them to await the German attack and then pull out. Two days later, the four survivors are attacked, and are unable to reach headquarters on the radio. As they drive away, one of the Jeeps skids off the road. Will and Mother grab Father’s body, leap into the remaining Jeep, and dodge enemy fire. They arrive at headquarters to find that Griffin has left with the entire unit. Lost and out of gas, the men push the Jeep off the road and sleep. The next morning, as they see a German Panzer division pass on the road, Will orders his comrades to bury their weapons. With the blood from Father’s corpse, they paint red crosses on their winter camouflage to disguise themselves as medics, and carry the body back to the American lines. After learning that Shutzer died, Mother is assigned to the motor pool while the other three are sent back to front. Before Will joins his new unit, he is forced to fill out paperwork for the lost Jeeps.